Jans AddictionA Very Brady Murder
by Teheheman
Summary: I guess you would have to read it yourself, and if this doesn't get approved, I hope to fine a site that'll allow it. Comments are welcome.


Jan's Addiction-A Very Brady Murder

By Daniel Croxton

Jan Brady was always ignored by everybody in favor of her older sister Marsha, who was hotter, older. and smarter than she was. So, Jan finally had enough and decided to kill her in her sleep. Well, at that time Cindy just got up to use the bathroom. By the time she got back, Jan had chopped Marsha's head off with an ax.

"Look at your headless body" said a blood-soaked Jan holding Marsha's decappitated head in one hand and an ax in the other. "Not so pretty now are you? Well, are you? Don't even have the guts to answer me, huh?"

"Umm...I'm telling" said Cindy

"Shut up, Cindy." said Jan, in a sadistic voice "Your not saying a word"

"wwwhy not?" Cindy said, terrified of what Jan was going to next.

"Because if you do, I'll tell mom and dad about your reationship with Bobby"

"There's nothing going on there, he was just helping me study"

"Yeah, and those heavy pants were just dog noises"

"You're bluffing, besides, I'm going to tell anyways"

As soon as Cindy turned her back to leave, Jan struck her in the head with the bloody instrument.

"I'd like to see you try now, you brother-loving tattletale"" she said, as she took the ax from her skull

After she removed the ax, she hid it under Cindy's bed and disposed of the bodies. She kept Marsha's head because she had plans for it. She planned to buy a plaque with the allowance she had been saving up and put her head with the inscription 'Marsha' on it. The next day, Jan put Marsha's head in a jar of formaldahide so it'll be fresh when she puts it on the plaque.

The next day, while Jan was going through her bout with Parkinsons, Bobby and Perter entered the room wearing detective hats.

"Whatcha doin'" said Jan, shaking her head involuntarily

"We're trying to figure out what happened to Marsha and Cindy" said Peter

"Yeah, nobody seems to know where they went, bedsides if we find them, we get a reward" said Bobby

"Not if I have anything to do with it" whispered Jan

"Whatdya say Jan?" said Bobby

"Oh nothing" said Jan

As soon as they turned around, Bobby got hit in the back of the head with the ax. Then, when Peter turned around to see what happened, he got the ax split through the middle of his skull. After Jan took it out of Peter's bloodied skull, she stomped the skull until there was nothing left but little fragments too small to see. Even with a microscope.

"That's what you get for having a annoying voice you creepy, shower-peeking, pervert" said Jan

As she cleaned up her mess, she heard the moans of Sam and Alice, whom she thought were on their date. She looked in her room and saw Alice screwing Sam up his butt with a big strap-on unlike she had ever seen. See, Sam was use to this being a criminal with different aliases in at least several states and even the military. Alice was a former dominatrix who came to the Brady house to seduce Mr. Brady but found Sam instead and thought that he would do. Now, he was a frequent visitor of, what she called, the Butt-Plug Club. She hated Alice with a passion because she could whistle better than she could so what she did was took out a sniper riffle and put a bullet in Alice's and Sam's heads. She put a .45 that she just happened to have in her room and put it in Alice's hands to make it look like a murder-rape-suicide and went on with her business. The next thing on her agenda was to get Greg. Greg Brady had split-personality issues in which sometimes he was Johnny Bravo and sometimes he was Greg Brady. You would never know which one you would get but Jan was willing to put both of them to rest in her never ending quest to become the only child in the family.

"Hey, Greg" said Jan with a sawed-off shotgun behind her back

"It's Johnny Bravo baby. Hot, young, recording star" said Greg in his Johnny Bravo get-up

"Yeah, sure, Hey whats that on the ceiling" said Jan, pointing up to the ceiling

"Huh?" said Greg, looking up

Just after he looked up, she put 2 bullets right under his chin. Blasting his brains toward the corner of the flamboyantly decorated room. Though of course Jan was prepared with a piece of paper and a pen after she put the gun in Greg's hand. She decided to write a suicide note in which Greg apoligizes to everyone but has to kill Johnny Bravo once and for all to save his own life. The note was expertly forged. See, Jan studied everybodies letters and practiced their writing styles before her plan was to take shape. She was finally the only child but not all was right in the Brady world. Once the parents found out about Greg and Alice's "suicide", the other 4 kids disappearances and the fact that Sam was "murdered and raped" they were devestated. So, in a pact that they made on their Honeymoon that if all of the kids were killed or missing that they would take their own lives. Thanks to the syanide pills that they were stashing away for a special occasion, they were able to do it. Once taken, they made love one last time before they fell into eternal slumber. Meanwhile, Jan, the kid that they didn't realize was still alive, was out to kill the kid who was standing in her way. Oliver, the clumsy cousin who was utterly repulsive. She went to his house and he answered the door.

"Oh hey Jan come on in, would you like something to drink?" said Oliver, leading her into his house

"Oh no I'm fine" said Jan, bringing her trusty ax

"Alright, then" said Oliver walking toward this kitchen because he was thirsty

Just then, he suddenly tripped and fell through the glass table that they had in the living room, killing him almost instantly. Jan was shocked, but was relieved because this saved her some time considering that she was going to kill him anyway. As she left, she considered putting an ax in Oliver's back for the heck of it. But then she thought against it. She left for home but when she got there, she found out that her parents had committed suicide and didn't even realize that she was still alive. Being ticked off at that fact that nobody noticed that she was alive, she decided that instead of covering up her tracks, she will make it look like the fault of the parents. She called the cops and when they got there she told them the story and they decided to put her in a foster home, where she was the only child in the whole place. Which is what she always wanted to be anyways.

The End


End file.
